I Hate Facebook

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This post is related to the post “Distracted” found here: Kandisdavis.com/distracted
Full Version of “I Hate Facebook” is up top, Shorter Version found below it.

FULL VERSION

I hate Facebook.

After acquiring 2,080 friends and spending the last almost 11 years building my network, I am completely over it.

I’ll preface all of this by saying, I am absolutely not judging anyone who loves Facebook and is active on it. These are simply my thoughts of Facebook’s role and affect in my life.

The Story of Me and Facebook:

I first joined the network my freshman year of college, back in 2003. It was new to the scene and at the time, you had to get enough people at your school to send a request to Facebook, asking them to “add my school” before you could access the site. You had to have a college email address to sign up and it was literally a network of college students. I used it to set meal dates with friends in the café, study sessions with friends and to see what was going on with my high school friends who went to other colleges around the country.

Facebook was the best thing to happen in life since Apple computers.

I documented much of my college days on Facebook, and I still go back to find a picture or album so I can figure out a timeframe reference for monumental dates in my life.

But all would soon begin to change. I remember when Facebook first opened it’s network to allow non-college students to sign up for accounts. I hated it. It felt like outsiders were invading a sacred, safe place. Now my mom is on Facebook? Absolutely changed the whole dynamic of the Facebook community, but as time progressed, things seemed to return back to it’s normal “safe” place involving only the people I wanted in my network.

I’m gonna speed through the next major transitions I remember so I can get to my current day dilemma and decision:
I remember when “poking” people was actually used and somewhat normal
I remember when ads were first introduced
I remember when tagging first started
I remember when games were first introduced
I remember every redesign that has happened
I remember feeling like my privacy was slowly being taken away
I remember being slightly freaked out by the facial recognition feature

And now that I’m on this “I remember” kick, I’m realizing that I could continue this list all day so I’ll move on to the point.

With each of these changes, Facebook became more and more influential and controlling. It’s almost necessary to be on Facebook and that makes me want to leave it even more. I need Facebook and I hate it.

I tried deactivating my account on Monday, but when I went to use my Spotify, I realized that I’d signed up for Spotify using my Facebook account. Deactivating my Facebook, automatically deactivates my Spotify account. How many websites and services have I signed up using Facebook because of it’s ease and convenience?

My exit to Facebook is delayed by my opening a new Spotify account and transferring my 80+ playlists and favorited albums to my new, non-Facebook related account.

This made me hate Facebook even more and heightened my feelings of being a slave to the network.
But honestly, the thing that has bothered me the most is the increase in content. Everytime I get on Facebook, I’m forcefully exposed to videos and posts I would never naturally find or see on my own. I have been subjected to content that I wish I’d never seen. Images, videos, and jokes are ingrained in my brain that I wish I’d never seen.

I wasn’t subjected to these things by choice, but simply because I scrolled down the news feed. Videos automatically play, pictures are automatically on screen, everything is just there, not asking “would you like to be exposed to this?” it’s just blasting it without your consent.

Which concerns me most for the next generation. For my age demographic and older, I think it’s a bit more natural for us to know when we’re overindulged in something (or at least I’d like to believe this is true). I have many friends who will admit, “I’m addicted to Instagram or Facebook.” Or they’ll choose to go on a media fast just to detox and deprogram for a while.

You don’t and probably won’t see this so much with the generations who are growing up with social media because they don’t know differently. They haven’t experienced developing and maintaining healthy, face-to-face relationships with the absence of social media.

Social media is what their relationships are built around and it is completely normal to them.

And this brings me to my last thought:

How did I come to hate the thing that supposedly helps foster one of the things I love and value most?

I absolutely love and value community. Deeply. I love people and I’m very loyal to the people I love. Facebook has even helped me reconnect with some of these dear people throughout the years. It’s helped me remember birthdays and plan in-person functions. It’s helped me find friends while I’m out of state. It’s helped me maintain relationships with people in other countries!

And these are the reasons I almost talked myself into staying on Facebook longer, but for me, I had to assess, “am I building community or am I building a network?”

A community is defined as a social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality, share government, and often have a common cultural and historical heritage. Versus a network which it’s SEVENTH definition is, an association of individuals having a common interest, formed to provide mutual assistance, helpful information, or the like.

Do you see the difference?

A community lacks an agenda, whereas a network is to provide something.

I don’t want to build a big network so that I can get things, I want to build authentic relationships and community with people.

I don’t want to be distracted by random mindless posts throughout my day, I want to be present, enjoying the moments that I get on this earth.

So I could type about this for a long time. There are definitely pros and cons to Facebook that I didn’t address. One being the anxiety I’m feeling about leaving. I’m asking myself, “How will I be able to invite people to events? How will I be able to keep up with my friends who are out of the country? How will I know what’s going on in the city? How are people going to know when I post a new blog? What about keeping in touch with all my friends who are all over the country?”

The slightly panicked questions of a life being “cut off” from this Facebook world could continue on, but here’s one thing I know: The people who are actually for real in my life, will still actually for real be in my life whether I’m on Facebook or not. Now, I may start missing some birthdays, but at least I’ll be able to say and know they are my real-life friend and not just a Facebook friend.

I will still be active and available on Twitter (@Kandis) & Instagram (@Kandis7) so feel free to follow me there!

I had a lot of words, would rather have a discussion or be on a panel about this matter, but for now, this wordy blog will suffice.

Goodbye for now, Facebook. It’s been a good ride.

 

SHORTER VERSION

I hate Facebook.

After acquiring 2,080 friends and spending the last almost 11 years building my network, I am completely over it.

I first joined the network my freshman year of college, back in 2003. You had to have a college email address to sign up and it was literally a network of college students.

But all soon changed when Facebook first opened its network to allow non-college students to sign up for accounts. I hated it. Absolutely changed the whole dynamic, but as time progressed, things seemed to return back to it’s normal “safe” place.

I’m gonna speed through the next major transitions I remember so I can get to my current day dilemma and decision:
I remember when “poking” people was actually used and somewhat normal
I remember when ads were first introduced
I remember when tagging first started
I remember when games were first introduced
I remember every redesign that has happened
I remember feeling like my privacy was slowly being taken away
I remember being slightly freaked out by the facial recognition feature

With each of these changes, Facebook became more and more influential and controlling. It’s almost necessary to be on Facebook and that makes me want to leave it even more. I need Facebook and I hate it.

My Spotify account is connected to my Facebook account so if I deactivate Facebook, my Spotify automatically doesn’t work. This makes me hate Facebook even more and heightens my feelings of being a slave to the network.

But the thing that has bothered me the most is the increase in content. Every time I get on Facebook, I’m forcefully exposed to videos and posts I would never naturally find or see on my own.

Which concerns me most for the next generation. For my age demographic and older, I think it’s a bit more natural for us to know when we’re overindulging in something (or at least I’d like to believe this is true). I have many friends who will admit, “I’m addicted to Instagram or Facebook.” Or they’ll choose to go on a media fasts just to detox and deprogram for a while.

You don’t and probably won’t see this so much with the generations who are growing up with social media because they don’t know differently. They haven’t experienced developing and maintaining healthy, face-to-face relationships with the absence of social media.

Social media is what their relationships are built around and it is completely normal to them.

And this brings me to my last thought:

How did I come to hate the thing that supposedly helps foster one of the things I love and value most?

I absolutely love and value community. Deeply. I love people and I’m very loyal to the people in my life. Facebook has even helped me reconnect with some of these dear people throughout the years. It’s helped me remember birthdays and plan in-person functions. It’s helped me find friends while I’m out of state. It’s helped me maintain relationships with people in other countries!

And these are the reasons I almost talked myself into staying on Facebook longer, but for me, I had to assess, “am I building community or am I building a network?”

A community lacks an agenda, whereas a network is designed to provide/take something.

I don’t want to build a big network so that I can get things. I want to build authentic relationships and community with people.

I don’t want to be distracted by random mindless posts throughout my day, I want to be present, enjoying the moments that I get on this earth.

There are definitely pros and cons to Facebook that I didn’t address. One being the anxiety I’m feeling about leaving. I’m asking myself, “How will I be able to invite people to events? How will I be able to keep up with my friends who are out of the country? How will I know what’s going on in the city? How are people going to know when I post a new blog? What about keeping in touch with all my friends who are all over the country?”

The slightly panicked questions about life without Facebook could continue on, but here’s one thing I know: The people who are actually for real in my life, will still actually for real be in my life whether I’m on Facebook or not. Now, I may start missing some birthdays, but I’ll deal with that later.

I will still be active and available on Twitter (@Kandis) & Instagram (@Kandis7) for as long as they act right. So feel free to follow me there if you’d like to keep in touch.

Goodbye for now, Facebook. It’s been a good ride.

3 Comments
  • Michael WHite
    September 24, 2015

    I actually started a year fast back on 8/8/15 to not get on any social media (FB, twitter, IG, tumblr, etc…) but even before I started gradually taking myself from social media apps and placing that time which is somewhat wasted in other aspects of my life. In doing so I’ve started two things I know God has placed on my heart that I’ve never had any ambitions of doing myself. I’m starting my own website and writing a book that portrays the struggles of a young man and his struggles to get back reacquainted with God after following the world for so long. Amazing the things you can do when you’re face isn’t planted in a small screen during the downtimes of your daily lives.

  • Aletha
    December 24, 2014

    The long version worked just fine for me :-). I agree about being exposed to unwanted media and I, too, worry about the generations to come. Lord, cover us.

    • Kandis7
      December 26, 2014

      Haha! Well that just goes to speak to your patience and lack of ADD tendencies. I’m impressed :) Thanks for reading and commenting Aletha!

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