I honestly cannot believe an entire year has passed THIS FAST!! The world must definitely be spinning a little faster! But anyway, the calendar says a year has past and as always (well at least for the last two years), I’m sitting here on the morning of my birth, reflecting on life and the person I’ve become to this day.
23 brought LOTS of unexpected changes. They weren’t necessarily bad, but they were indeed, monumental. The biggest of them all was my decision to move to Nashville. I decided 10months ago and started working a plan to make it happen. I reached my goal and two weeks ago, I made the trek from Texas to Tennessee with my most needed belongings in tow.
Another monumental moment also happened in June, when I decided to “Cut the Cord”…you can read ALL about that adventure and realization here. Nonetheless, I feel like I’m actually transforming into an adult, right before my eyes! Lol I can feel myself aging and making decisions that I can never reverse!
I’m definitely not where I thought I would be career wise at this point, but it’s ok. I know that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be, no matter how scary and illogical it seems. I know my ultimate goal is to 1) Glorify God and 2) Change the lives of young people through relationships and media. How exactly?! I don’t totally know yet, but it will all come together soon…I hope! ☺
On the relationship front…and I’m only speaking on this topic for two reasons. One; because people always ask me am I dating someone & can’t believe me when I say “no;” and two is because my outlook on the whole idea of it has changed…well just a little. The fact that I’m comfortable and enjoy being single, hasn’t changed a bit. It is the most simple, stress-free way to live actually! But at the same time I’ve come to realize that I protect myself from hurt and that I’m selfish (in a way).
To experience a TRUE human connection, one must be vulnerable. I’m looking in the thesaurus and dictionary like “who the heck wants to be weak, defenseless, open to attack, without adequate protection?” Does not sound AT ALL appealing to me! BUT, I’ve learned that by having this 200ft tall, 30ft thick wall up around me, yes, I’m protecting myself, but I’m also isolating myself! I’ve come to a point where I realize human connection, feelings and relationship are a huge part of the reason we exist as a human race. And this doesn’t just relate to the male/female dating relationship…this exact same principal applies to every type of relationship: kinship, friendship and any other type of ship you can think of. So anyway, on the openness/vulnerability front…I’m still working on it, but at least I know it’s necessary!
Selfishness: I know the bible says “the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Tim 6:10),” but I must say I believe selfishness can be just as evil. The fact that I think/say “I don’t want to get married until I’m 30 and I don’t want to start thinking about kids until I’m 33 or so,” is totally rooted in selfishness. The reason I don’t want those things is because I don’t want to be “inconvenienced” and I don’t want to “give up my career goals.” Or how about, I enjoy sleeping in and cleaning up when I feel like it. The fact that Adam & Eve failed, is rooted in selfish desires and look @ where humanity is now! The bottom line is, selfishness hinders love. And love is the greatest commandment.
Matthew 22:36-39: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied, ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
GEEZ! I’ve got a long way to go!
I’ll end it with these two convicting scriptures:
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4.)
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor…” (Romans 12:10.)
So with all that said, HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY FROM ME TO YOU!! I’ve decided to spend the bulk of my day doing things for my little sisters, cleaning up the house for my mom, and doing whatever else I can to serve the people around me. AND the fact that I have to share my birthday w/ the world’s BIGGEST event in modern history (MJ’s Memorial), is another testament to the fact that it’s not about me…God will even use a dead Michael Jackson! LOL Thanks for all the LOVE on today guys! Lata!