I feel like I could write a book about all of the things that culminated, started, ended, and changed during my 31st year of life.
It was definitely a year that changed the entire trajectory of the rest of my life.
I’m struggling to write about it now because it was so much. The short version is, I got engaged, quit my job of six years, planned a wedding, and got married all in three months.
The long version would tell of the hardship, disappointment, hope, encouragement, tears, frustration, fear, excitement, joy, fight, laughter, surety, silence, doubt, and waiting.
See my dilemma here?
The best way I can think to try and explain the past year of my life is to take you back even further, to the inception of all the changes. There are two timelines below. One shows the timeline of my job and the other of my marriage.
What these timelines don’t show you is the in-between. They don’t show you the years and years of prayer or the countless rides on emotional roller coasters.
Just to put things in further perspective, what you don’t see on these timelines is that I started praying about marrying Dex in 2013 and I started praying about leaving Daystar in 2015. It would be 4 and 2 more years before those things actually occurred.
Sidenote: I know some of you have been praying for the same thing much longer than 4 and 2 years. I don’t yet know what that’s like, but I’m sure someday I will. God, in His sovereignty, chose to answer my prayers in the timeframe that He did. If you are at the 5 year and over mark on something, be encouraged and continue to pray God’s word and His will over those requests. They will not go unanswered! Don’t stop now!
Now that I’m on the other side of those prayers, it is easy to neglect telling the journey and only celebrate and tell of the arrivals. Honestly, I feel like that’s all I’ve been doing lately. So pray with me on figuring out how to tell the depths of it all someday, will ya?
Perhaps I’m still processing and sorting. Things are still loading. I don’t know. But here’s what I do know:
God is a faithful Father. He is attentive to our prayers and He always answers with the right answer at the right time. Our timeline is usually never the same as His and until we become okay with that, we will live frustrated, unfulfilled, jealous, and unhappy lives.
There’s so much more I want to share with you. So many lessons I want to tell, but for whatever reason I don’t think now, or today, is the time. So until then, I would like to encourage you with this: God hears your every prayer and knows every pain. He has an absolutely beautiful plan for your life and it will come to pass.
Stick as close to Him as you possibly can.
Obey Him as often as you can.
Listen to Him every chance you can.
There is so much more beauty in life when we learn to take God at His word, trust Him with every detail, and follow Him every step of the way.
Today I’m 32 and I have no clue what this year will bring. If that much of my life can change in 3 months, who knows what’s going to happen in 12 months?!
Of course we dream and imagine that maybe we’ll have kids or buy a house or get new jobs or start businesses, but the reality is, we could also experience pain, sickness, heartache, and death.
As contemplative, and vague as this post has been, I don’t know what else to write or how else to say all I’ve said. Life is very complex but I am so hopeful and so confident that all will end well in this world because God says so.
I would like to add that I am the most free I’ve been in my entire adult life and I am absolutely loving being married to Dex. We love life and love living ours together. Marriage has been a ton of fun so far (which you can see from time-to-time on our Instagram stories Lol).
There’s a lot for me to navigate still, but today at 32 I feel a lot like David in 2 Samuel chapter 7. The entire chapter is resonating with me but I’ll end with these 4 verses:
“Who am I, O Lord God, and what is my house, that you have brought me thus far?And yet this was a small thing in your eyes, O Lord God. You have spoken also of your servant’s house for a great while to come, and this is instruction for mankind, O Lord God!
And what more can David say to you? For you know your servant, O Lord God! Because of your promise, and according to your own heart, you have brought about all this greatness, to make your servant know it.
Therefore you are great, O Lord God. For there is none like you, and there is no God besides you, according to all that we have heard with our ears.” – 2 Samuel 7:18-22
God, be praised! I made it to 32!
Check out my previous birthday posts: