Today I started off in a great mood.
I woke up early (S/O to daylight savings for holding it down). I coordinated life with friends. My jokes were coming good and steady. I mean, I just knew the day would be an all around win.
All was well in the world until about 2pm. That’s when I felt it creeping in. Could I overcome it? Would being around friends help me? What if I just ignored it?
I was sinking in quicksand and nothing could pull me out of it.
Soon I found myself head-deep in moodiness. I pushed through it for a couple hours and spent some time with friends but really, I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts…oh my thoughts…ALLL of my thoughts.
Not the good kind either. I wanted to wallow.
I wanted to wallow about how I didn’t understand why I felt like wallowing, And I wanted to wallow about how I had no clue what I was even wanting to wallow about. I guess this is why men call women complicated?
So I decided instead of wallowing alone, I’d go to Jesus. I drove to one of my favorite nature spots in the city and found a seat.
My thoughts were everywhere. I read random scriptures then felt a tad frustrated so I walked to another spot, had a seat, opened up my journal and wrote “I’m not really sure what to write or talk to You about.”
My next thought totally threw me.
“I should thank Him.”
It seemed like the exact opposite of wallowing but since I still didn’t know what to wallow about, I conceded.
For about 10 minutes I thanked God for everything from His omnipresence and attentiveness to my friends and car. Literally anything that came to mind, I thanked Him.
And then I saw a tree.
The details of the tree bark seemed to leap at me; places where pieces had fallen off, the variations in colors…I stared at the leaves and pondered how God determined exactly how many should be there and the exact hue of each leaf. The detail, oh the detail.
And then He spoke four words.
“I haven’t forgotten you.”
My response was a scrunched face and the thought, “Forgotten? But I don’t feel forgotten at all!”
One, two, three annnd *cue tears*…accompanied by a slight bit of confusion.
Why the heck am I crying?
God then showed me, things I’d stopped praying about. Things I’d just accepted as my new normal. Disappointments I’d turned into apathetic memories. He showed me unanswered prayers and stated again, “I haven’t forgotten you.”
He assured me that if He could create and manage the details of this tree, He could absolutely handle the details of my life and I know without a doubt, my life isn’t nearly enough to keep the God of the universe tied up, which means, the same is true for you.
He sees you.
He remembers you.
You are not forgotten.
Know and believe that Our Father is working on our behalf and He knows what He’s doing. I’m quite positive the endings will turn out for our good and His glory…cause He’s good like that.
“give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Now, thank Him for what He’s done and see if that won’t turn your whole world around. Go ahead, I won’t keep you.