I have no plan B.
All of my eggs are in this one basket and the thought of that makes me nervous.
I have no diversified Hope Portfolio.
All of my hope—every bit of it—is in Jesus.
I base my life around this hope.
I make decisions based on this hope.
I treat people the way I do because of this hope.
I say “yes” and “no” to certain things because of this hope.
Yet some days I wonder if I’m putting too much hope in Him.
Today I read a journal entry that I wrote this date, a year ago. After I read it I realized I’ve been waiting for years now to see the manifestation of some promises that I believe He’s said to me.
Years!! “Was I really STILL praying this SAME prayer about this SAME thing a year ago?” I thought as I read the words I’d written on November 7, 2014.
Why has my hope remained despite seeing no tangible evidence that these prayers were heard or will ever be answered?
Why haven’t I moved on and tried something else?
Why don’t I just try to change and manipulate these circumstances on my own?
What keeps me still, waiting, trusting, and hoping in a person I’ve never physically seen or audibly heard?
It absolutely makes no sense.
Faith makes no sense.
Continuing to hope and pray for something where you’ve seen no tangible progress makes no sense.
Yet, there are many people like me—people who decide that despite all of these obvious reasons to doubt, choose to remain hopeful and unmoved by the lack of evidential progress.
What is it that keeps us here?
The only thing I can explain right now is that despite the fuss I just made and the tears I just cried over not seeing the progress I’d expected, there is a stillness deep, deep inside me. There is a peace I find when I make myself sit still and be quiet, even if just for a moment, it steadies me.
This deep-seated stillness reminds me that I actually do have tangible evidence of God’s faithfulness.
In fact I have this tangible evidence digitally, physically, invisibly, mentally—it is the word of God.
It’s on my cell phone, I’ve memorized parts of it, it’s hidden in my heart, it’s in 7 different translations on my bookshelf!
And the words and promises in it are what sustain me in these times of doubt and frustration.
In the times that I feel unheard or dumb for putting ALL of my hope in this one Person, the Bible is what reminds me that I’m not crazy. It reminds me that my hope is rooted in something secure, in a truth that surpasses cultural, time, and generational barriers.
My hope is in a God who, according to His word, will not and cannot fail.
The Bible says He never has and He never will.
And THAT is how I steady my heart when it’s in a million places.
THAT is what brings peace and joy in the midst of seemingly unanswered prayers.
THAT is what God knew we would need to remain in Him amidst the turns, twists, and trials of life.
He knew we’d need a physical, tangible expression of Him and I’m so thankful today for it.
Thank you Jesus that I can firmly and securely and wisely put every single ounce of my hope in You. Thank You Jesus that I’m not crazy because I can hold your word in my hands and read out loud the reasons for my hope.
Thank You for knowing what we needed and providing it before we ever even asked for it.
Thank You for giving us You in the form of Your Word.