Uncomfortable

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I’m uncomfortable.

But I’m American! And we’re all about comfort! Bring on the pain-killing meds and time-consuming distractions cause this “American Dream” comes complete with a 52-inch television, fluffy pillows, and a plush blanket to match.

Lately I’m thinking someone must have stolen my American Dream because I’m uncomfortable.

While I’m supposed to be kicking it and enjoying the comfort of my youth, I’ve found myself experiencing discomfort after discomfort. I even had an uncomfortable dream two nights ago that still makes me squirm and get goose bumps when I think about it.

I can’t even sleep comfortably.

Today marks 3 months of me functioning with a knee injury I expected to be fully healed and resolved within days of the incident. I can’t walk normally, do stairs well, or straighten my leg all the way. My injured leg is noticeably smaller than the other due to degenerating muscle that the doctor says will take me months to rebuild.

I can’t even walk comfortably.

Thursday night, something was stirring inside me and I wanted to share about it. I recorded a video, edited it down to 11 minutes and debated whether it would ever see the light of day.

That night a friend and I prayed and in the prayer, my friend unknowingly prayed something that shook me. I knew it meant I should post the video, but I didn’t because that idea made me uncomfortable.

I can’t even pray comfortably.

Everyday since I recorded that video on Thursday, the same messages have bombarded me, without warrant, repeatedly directing my thoughts to the source of my discomfort.

On Friday:

  • Muhammad Ali died.
  • That night, my younger brother and sister started an impromptu convo with a friend and me about people dying and it being the younger generation’s time to step up.

On Saturday:

  • An old friend and I reconnected via phone and we talked about how it’s “Go” time for our generation. Recognizing that God is about to do something with those who are young and submitted to Him.

On Sunday:

  • Pastor Evans preached about generations, the importance of remembering, and what happens when there is a breakdown in generational transference.
  • That evening, Jonathan Evans preached about being unsettled with where you are and choosing to “Go” where God is leading you…even when you don’t know where the where is.

On Monday:

  • Jim Cymbala preached about the need for believers to speak boldly, reproduce themselves (evangelism & discipleship), and the crucial, most important, process of submitting our lives to Holy Spirit.

On Tuesday (today):

  • My best friend, who also was my senior thesis partner in high school, sent me this text: “It looks like we were on to something with our high school thesis project.” Underneath her comment, a link to this article: The Fugitive: A Failed Pursuit of the Black Church to Reach Millennials.
  • Here I am thirteen years later; face-to-face with an article discussing the same issue I was concerned about when I was just 17 years old.

I can’t even live and grow up comfortably.

The more uncomfortable I get, the more I realize that my American Dream wasn’t stolen, my dream was traded. Voluntarily traded, at that! The day I told Jesus Christ He could have all of me; He made an exchange. I exchanged my dreams for His will, my American agenda for His Kingdom agenda.

And because of this exchange, my comfort is gone and my eyes are wide open. My ears are inclined and with clarity, I see.

I see that at the rate we’re going:

  • My generation will know how to build brands, but won’t know how to build buildings.
  • We will know the lyrics to every song, but won’t know the classic hymns.
  • My generation will know how to find the answer to everything, but won’t know how to use the Bible and find truth.
  • We will attend conferences, events, and concerts, but won’t be connected to a local church.
As it all currently stands, something must change.

I don’t know yet what those changes need to look like or what will work and what won’t. And I definitely don’t know how these changes should happen, but I do know I’m one of many who are supposed to do something.

As an acknowledgement of what I see and an initial step of action, I made this video, sharing straight from my heart. No notes, horrible editing job, audio levels are off, but this is what I’ve got.

I pray you’ll watch and be stirred to think, pray, and act.

5 Comments
  • Uncle JL
    July 9, 2016

    Kandis, I’m literally blown away by your “uncomfortable” commentary. It encourages me to know someone of your generation gets it. Meaning that you realize that we were all born to fulfill purpose as we occupy this earthly realm. This is why we must seek and act on the things that really matter. Because, our Creator has allowed each of us only so much “earthly” time to do so.

    I once heard a very wise man say; “If you lead, but are not cultivating someone to succeed you, then you’re NOT a true leader.” You’re so right. Those who lead must do a much better job at leading. My prayer is that we ALL (young and old) become “uncomfortable”… before it’s too late!

  • Lisa Lewis
    June 13, 2016

    Kandis I’m so glad you’re Uncomfortable. Can’t wait to meet you next Monday!

  • Carlene Dawson
    June 8, 2016

    Kandis you are so dedicated and awesome

  • Ruth Jeremiah
    June 8, 2016

    Thank you for the admonition and encouragement, Kandis! Sparked me to look to a person above me to gain more knowledge and discipleship.

  • Destiny Forge
    June 8, 2016

    This is amazing!! There’s a desire in my heart that has been sparked again! I have things I want to start for generations after me. Start a new legacy that is so grounded in Christ. Thank you! God bless you!

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