I am always amazed and blown away at God’s grace & love. I don’t think I’ll ever comprehend His works…actually I know I won’t. With that, I’m just in awe at my life right now. I’ve been so far from “on point” spiritually. I haven’t wilded out or anything (although I did get a tattoo that I love!) but I just haven’t been diligent in my devotion.
Crazy thing about it is #1 I think about God ALL the time EVERYDAY! #2 I talk to Him throughout the day while I’m doing things, I just haven’t been spending time, like sit down still time with Him #3 He’s showing me SO much & is giving me so many ideas & SO much clarity. #4 I always want to bring Him up in conversation with people…i guess cause He’s always on my mind?
That’s the bugged out part about it all. I find it very hard to believe that God is giving me all these visions & ideas during a time in life that my focus has been a bit off. But that’s where grace comes in! As humans, our minds usually understand everything to be cause and effect. Because I ate cake everyday for two weeks, I gained 5lbs. Because I woke up 30mins late, I was late for work. Because I haven’t spent time with God, He’s not going to speak to me. But such is not always the case with God!
Now! I know the Bible says draw neigh & He’ll draw neigh to us. I heard Gateway’s pastor say it best last night. We say “God I love you!” He says “I Love You” We say “I want to be with you” God says “I want to be with you” We do have to do our part but us lacking on our side of the relationship doesn’t cause God to slack up on His side! That blows my mind!!!!!!!
God is always speaking…even in the silence, He’s speaking!! I’m one who always says “go with what feels right, go with your gut or your instincts.” I still live by that and when I do, I dont have regrets. Why? Because I believe those instincts & feelings are what the Holy Spirit uses to guide us even when we aren’t trying to tune in to God. He still gives us these “feelings.”
I don’t know, I may be WAY left to someone, but I know that i’ve been receiving some undeserved insights lately and all I can think is how unworthy I am and how great God is inspite of our trifflingness. That alone has caused me to draw near to Him tonight. I suck yet You still love & use me!!! What?!?! That’s something worth giving Him your ALL for.
I’m trying to do better with my side of the relationship, not because I want something in return, but because I love Him & it’s the least I could do.